Why Do I Keep Coming Here?

Last weekend what was on the menu was Awful Food. Maybe you've had it before.

From a sickingly cheesy pizza to the usually delightful Eggs Benedict* it was all bad. Undercooked salmon, rotten lettuce. I should point out that I wasn't the chef of any of these creations, I was merely paying for someone's monsterpieces.

This weekend I decided that even though it usually takes a long time for me to ban myself from a place, these compounded events have led me to swiftly make some choices.

In the Year 2005: Eateries to Avoid

Seattle

• Julia's tops the list for its unremarkable food for high prices. Featuring bad breakfast, sorry salads, and well, just ass-bad food. Eggs Benedict: I agree that it is hard to poach an egg and preparing Hollandaise sauce might be tricky. But when the the Bene is offered with your choice of ham, bacon, or spinach and you choose spinach (Eggs Florentine) you should not get raw spinach from some leftover spinach salad tucked under a hard-poached egg drizzled with the lightest dash of Hollandaise sauce with a flavor close to that of water.
• The Broadway Grill is a reader submission. I haven't eaten there myself, but I trust the submitter's best instincts. He describes it as "bad diner food for too much money."
• Specialty's. Christ. This is obvious for many reasons, the biggest being terrible sandwiches featuring fluffy absorbent bread in place of something (anything!) more substantial should surely be. The salads here are dastardly abominations of the terms "fresh" and "green." The one thing they do well is their chocolate bundt cake.

So far there are only three on my list, but watch out. Its only March and there are several (some might say nine) more months to go.


*Julia's Eggs Benedict has been christened Eggs Derelict by H.M.S. Hamlice