Current Learnings
Texas is not so bad. The high priestess and Hamlice von Baggavon took to the skies this thanksgiving and traveled through Houston (very scary!) and made it all the way to southern Texas--let's just call it Mexico. Or, we can call it...
South Padre Island: A playground for the cold and sun-deprived; the perfect place for us. Picture this: Someone asks you to go to Texas for a very important reason--let's call it OFFICIAL BUSINESS. You accept but you have pause, you will be entering god's country. You have your own ideas of what's going to go down; you're half right and half wrong. I call these "the learnings."
Now, for the learnings:
Texas
1. Texas is not so bad, especially if you stick very close to the Gulf of Mexico. No more than one mile away at any point--you are safe.
2. Not a lot of big hair in this part of Texas
3. A lot of vegetarian food on the buffet in this part of Texas
4. People were nice
5. You could swim up to the bar, and that makes everything OK
6. In Texas, there are no sharks in the water that can bite off your face.
Border Towns
1. Border towns are depressing and should be avoided at all costs
Overnight flights during peak-operating holiday times
1. Overnight flights or "red-eyes" should be avoided at all times.
2. Tricking yourself into thinking you might sleep on the plane is escapist behavior
3. It is impossible to sleep sitting up in a chair
4. It is impossible to sleep sitting up in a chair with your knees jammed into the seat in front of you (but we all know this)
5. You cannot sleep if every muscle in your body is tensed in reaction to extended perilous turbulence*
Things I Already Knew (and hold dear) or, the Truths
1. As you enter the ocean, don't balk at how unlike bathwater it is. Find a wave and dive into it.
2. Getting away without having to wear shoes or pants in November is sublime.
3. Calypso just sounds better if you're in a pool, or a hot tub.
4. Always get the movie on the plane unless it's "Little Man" starring Marlon Wayans.
South Padre Island: A playground for the cold and sun-deprived; the perfect place for us. Picture this: Someone asks you to go to Texas for a very important reason--let's call it OFFICIAL BUSINESS. You accept but you have pause, you will be entering god's country. You have your own ideas of what's going to go down; you're half right and half wrong. I call these "the learnings."
This is where we stayed.
Now, for the learnings:
Texas
1. Texas is not so bad, especially if you stick very close to the Gulf of Mexico. No more than one mile away at any point--you are safe.
2. Not a lot of big hair in this part of Texas
3. A lot of vegetarian food on the buffet in this part of Texas
4. People were nice
5. You could swim up to the bar, and that makes everything OK
6. In Texas, there are no sharks in the water that can bite off your face.
Border Towns
1. Border towns are depressing and should be avoided at all costs
Overnight flights during peak-operating holiday times
1. Overnight flights or "red-eyes" should be avoided at all times.
2. Tricking yourself into thinking you might sleep on the plane is escapist behavior
3. It is impossible to sleep sitting up in a chair
4. It is impossible to sleep sitting up in a chair with your knees jammed into the seat in front of you (but we all know this)
5. You cannot sleep if every muscle in your body is tensed in reaction to extended perilous turbulence*
Things I Already Knew (and hold dear) or, the Truths
1. As you enter the ocean, don't balk at how unlike bathwater it is. Find a wave and dive into it.
2. Getting away without having to wear shoes or pants in November is sublime.
3. Calypso just sounds better if you're in a pool, or a hot tub.
4. Always get the movie on the plane unless it's "Little Man" starring Marlon Wayans.
We're in here somewhere.
*Remember this: There is always turbulence. It always starts and it always stops and nothing ever happens.
posted by c'est trivial at 7:13 PM
1 Comments:
But did you mess with it?
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