I am Lucas

I be 2'11"

Who Do You Know in Denver?

Time was, I knew no one in Denver, and even fewer people in Colorado, proper.

But, times have changed.

Good luck Ms. Mantha. Visit often. Don't forget the rain....

Sunday Dread Becomes Sunday Doom

Last night von Hamlice and I went to see MF Doom at Seattle's Chop Suey. It was a terrific show and I know I will never tire of the medium: beats and rhymes. However, I tire quickly at all the silly fronting. Ne'er from the performers, but rather from the fans, who copy and behave in a certain prescribed hip hop way.

Well MF Doom did get a little crunk last night. And, he wore a kind of casual mask other than his legendary metalface. Instead this mask was just a little Zorro blindfold, as if he was a rhyming bandit. He is a very specifically strange performer--an incredible rapper, and a total sampling genius. The result is very pleasing and the beats just sound so hard and good so loud. My only complaint was that it was a little on the slim side, timewise. But then again, it was a Sunday night and MF is like 45 years old or something.

"Hoe Cakes" was a standout, as were pretty much all the tracks he played from "Madvillany."

Like he himself says, MF Doom is like DB Cooper...

What Don't You Think of This?

The laptop of luxury.

Not good, eh?

I don't think it's

• tasteful
• delightful
• endearing
• lively
• smart
• engaging
• innovative
• bawdy
• caustic
• daring
• fantastic
• primal
  

Enough About Me

I was thinking, as I am often preoccupied doing, that you should really start a blog. Because then I (oops! back to me again!) could read all your insights and witticisms and Sniglets, but maybe you're a Ralph, so yours would be Ralphlets. Anyway, remember Sniglets and Martin Mull and Not Necessarily the News? Of course you do.

For instance,

Cheedle: The orange residue left on fingers after eating Cheetos or some other cheesy snack

Toastaphobia: The fear of sticking a fork in a toaster even when it's unplugged.

Think about it.

And here's one to grow on:

The word Blog isn't one of Blogger's Spell Check recognized words. Ponderous. It's like a refusal to recognize self.

Who Is Wack

Fluroescent lights, that's who.

Apparently there's some investigative science that suggests that some fluroescent lights and computer monitors emit bad-for-you UVB rays. Low levels, yes, but still. Fuckers. Paragraph four, not that I have lupus.

Realize this: I could be getting sunburnt from the inside, without the sun. From the only sun in Seattle today. The kind that comes from the a cathode ray enclosed in a plastic box, luminescence from within a smooth tube. What the fuck.

Once This Happened to Me

In the daytime before yesterday's night, I decided to upgrade my Findyfox Mobzilla webular browser. So I did. I followed the instructions and in due time it said we were done. And that's when I realized the upgradable thing had eaten my precious bookmarks, like this one I just found recently, that I really think is going to broaden my poetics and stuff: RhymeZone. Did you catch that foreshadowing?

I tried for a few hours, like 3 or so, to build them back up from what I could vaguely remember. Anyone who's ever tried to do this knows it is hopelessly impossible.

The next day (yesterday) I came in, turned on the computer and was shocked at the marvel! The simplicity of restarting the box had regurgitated all my glorious marks. Again I have Seven Nites, a list of all the happy hours in Seattle, and more importantly, the LA Times since I can never remember that website address.

Fascinating, no? I was crushed when it happened. And, then I was the opposite (whatever that is) when they came back to me like a boomeranging HTML picnic.


Let this be a lesson in humility.

New Lows, Or Highs: Your Choice

You'll have to decide.

And there's a lot to peruse. Really!

Pretend You Know Someone

who is a woman and perpetually sarcastic.

Name her Lady Smarmalade.

That is all.

The Sea of Japan: Teeming with Monsters!

1. Make no mistake: This is an outbreak!
2. They're like 400 lbs!
3. They are 100% monster!

Guess Who's Seven Today!

Which means, he's 3 million in human years!

Happy Birthday, Mr. Barker!

Looking Back

on a favorite post.

On the Late Bus, Again

Though, is 8:45 all that late?

On the front right-hand side window seat a mother is entertaining her child, showing her how to trace her name on the fogged window. I'm thinking, "That's gotta be awfully dirty." The mother is prompting the child, "O, L, I, V, I, A."

Olivia: The name of my brother's latest child. Olivia, the fourth most-popular name in the United States in 2004. Olivia: The name of a certain pig who really wears dresses and behaves like a little girl. Olivia: A certain successful lesbian-only cruise line.

The mother turned to the child and said, "When you were so small and you were in my belly, you told me what your name would be."

I instantly loved the kid since precociousness is an undervalued gift, as she replied matter-of-factly, "No, I didn't."

And she probably didn't.

Some People Like the Internet...

but I think it's just OK. This just in from my mother.

You Guys in San Francisco Are Lucky

I am having the rudest hankering for an overpriced Financial District burritos from Tlaloc. These are completely different from the totally delicious burittos at Cancun or El Super Burrito or El Farolito.

Jesus.

Going there was my Friday afternoon ritual when I worked around the corner and was a respite from a sometimes dastardly hangover clouding a very predictably boring job. They have this lovely mango salsa that I could easily eat a gallon of and grilled chicken that would mingle so nicely with beans and rice lavished with this simple but ingenious onion/epazote/cilantro sauciness.

I feel weak.

Go there. For me.

Presentation: Everything, Or...

Something about the cover of this book about getting through life with horrible ADD, written by people with excruciating ADD, is like, really, really distracting, no?

What's with all that color and crazy-different fonts? Where should I focus?

FOCUS!

Shouldn't it be the plainest, dullest, most straightforward thing ever?

















Yes-Santa was awfully generous this year!